Dear Amy: I’m concerned about my 24-year-old daughter’s choice in a boyfriend. She is an intelligent college graduate, working in her field.

She met her boyfriend at work, and they quickly became serious. He is an unskilled laborer in the company’s warehouse, working there since high school.

He moved into her apartment. He works just enough to pay his bills and go hunting and fishing. He has no long-term plans.

When she met him, he was dealing with a DUI, having lost his license with a blood alcohol level of .15 and a subsequent accident.

She helped sort out all the court documents and necessary steps to finally get his license back, which was just finalized a few weeks before Christmas.

Then, on Christmas Eve, he left our house in her car to go to a dispensary and was pulled over for erratic speed. He was charged with another DUI. I told him privately how disgusted I am with his behavior (he’s 27).

I thanked our daughter for all she did for Christmas, but also told her that she had some thinking to do.

I said that he clearly hadn’t learned from his first DUI, but she didn’t want to discuss it.

We are disappointed and frightened for her. Should I pursue any further conversation with her? I don’t know if it will be productive. — Concerned Pop

Your daughter’s boyfriend was nabbed for DUI while driving to a dispensary on Christmas Eve. This means that he was either drunk or high when he was pulled over, and that he was headed out to purchase more. He obviously has a problem.

Yes, your bright and successful daughter has some thinking to do.

I don’t think you should push too hard, because pressure and judgment might push her toward him.

Some people need to personally experience the real-world consequences of addiction before they can take action.

Convey that you care about her and are always in her corner. A “friends and family” support group like Al-anon could introduce her to others who are also powerless over another’s addiction. That might be a persuasive influence.