The Denver Gazette

ADVICE

Send questions to askamy@amydickinson.com or to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

Dear Amy: I recently started a new job at a warehouse that employs thousands of people. Due to this, when the shift ends there’s always a long line of people waiting their turn to punch out.

However, without fail, there are always multiple people who will cut into said line to punch out ahead of the rest.

I’m having a real hard time not getting angry or upset about this, especially after working more than eight hours. What can I say to myself, or what kind of mentality can I adopt, to get over this? — Bothered

Dear Bothered: You’ve asked about adopting a new mentality, versus acting out or going to management.

Recently I’ve been studying “equanimity,” which is described as an “evenness of mind,” especially under stress. Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron describes ways to practice equanimity, outlining a situation analogous to yours – sitting in heavy traffic, while people cut ahead of you.

This can be seen as an opportunity to practice your calming skills.

After your shift, you can say to yourself: “OK, here they come. Here are my ‘ teachers,’ butting in line. Don’t mind me. I’ll be hanging out here, quietly practicing my equanimity and improving my life.”

You can also try to develop compassion toward these people, who might have to race to pick up kids from day care or have otherwise urgent needs that they believe outweigh yours.

This does not excuse their rudeness — but choosing compassion can help you to cope with it. Deciding to do so under these sorts of circumstances can also make you smile — because you’re using someone else’s rudeness to actually make your own life better.

Dear Amy: In a recent response to “KK,” you suggested that he could ask his date, “Can I hold your hand?” Amy!

Of course he can … but “may” he? That’s the question to ask! — Grammarian

Dear Grammarian: You’re right! Thank you for the correction.

TAKE OUR ADVICE

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2022-08-12T07:00:00.0000000Z

2022-08-12T07:00:00.0000000Z

https://daily.denvergazette.com/article/282394108227791

The Gazette, Colorado Springs