The Denver Gazette

Dear Amy:

AMY DICKINSON Send questions to askamy@amydickinson.com or to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

My daughter has been married almost a year.

Her husband is in the military, and they had to get hitched so she could live with him during the COVID-19 lockdowns.

They live on an isolated military base. She takes care of the house, started a business, volunteers for the Red Cross, and has a dog to keep her busy.

She just graduated from college, but there is no work on the base for her.

He came home from work last night and told her he has been unhappy for a while and that he wanted a divorce.

He said that counseling won’t help; his mind is made up. Then he left and stayed at a friend’s house. He won’t take her calls.

She is devastated and doesn’t even know what she has done wrong.

Last month they were talking about starting a family. How are they on divorce’s doorstep?

What should her first steps be? She lives several states away, so going to give her a hug is not possible, but I need to help her. I encouraged her to see the pastor on base, (this is the only counselor), but she is hesitant.

Your advice? — J

Dear J: Keep in close touch with your daughter. I agree that she should see the base chaplain. The chaplain cannot save her marriage, but that person will know the next steps the couple will need to take if they decide to separate — or if her husband alone decides to make this break permanent.

Your daughter’s first step should be to research her legal options and responsibilities. She got married quickly — it might be best to also dissolve this brief marriage quickly.

My understanding is that if this divorce becomes a legal reality, your daughter will lose her access to live-in military housing.

As her supportive parent, you should encourage her to breathe, to take things step by step, and – yes, (if possible) you should offer to help her pack the U-Haul.

TAKE OUR ADVICE

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2022-05-19T07:00:00.0000000Z

2022-05-19T07:00:00.0000000Z

https://daily.denvergazette.com/article/282381223154777

The Gazette, Colorado Springs