Dear Amy: My boss and I have a very positive and productive professional and personal relationship.

We take monthly business trips together and every few months will get together at social events with our wives and families, among others.

My wife, “Sandra,” really likes him and is supportive of me spending time with him, but does not appreciate his wife, “Millie.”

In shared company I’ve seen Millie ignore Sandra and talk over her without listening.

My wife Sandra is a florist and has done some work for Millie, but often feels she is treated as “the help.”

Sandra no longer appreciates spending time with Millie, and I can’t say that Millie outwardly shows that she likes Sandra, either. They share a birthday and Millie gets my wife a somewhat lavish gift and does the same at Christmas.

Naturally, Sandra feels the pressure to reciprocate. Frankly, she doesn’t think their friendship is on a level that warrants gift-giving, but is unsure how to decline or end this tradition without making a scene.

She is adamant that she doesn’t want to spend any more time than required with Millie.

I can certainly understand her viewpoint, and think it is valid. I would welcome any advice. — Helpful Husband

Dear Helpful: Your wife might feel more comfortable if she could actually view herself as “the help,” versus feeling pressured to maintain a personal relationship or try to build a friendship with someone she doesn’t like.

If “Sandra” sees herself mainly as “Millie’s” vendor (flower supplier), then she might be more tolerant toward how obnoxious Millie is.

Every time she is forced into Millie’s presence, she could tell herself, “Cha-ching — this evening could translate into future business for me.”

In terms of gifts, when Sandra receives an extravagant gift from Millie, she should thank her in writing, saying, “Thank you so much. That was very generous of you, but I do wish you weren’t so extravagant!”

Her own gifts for Millie should be business-building ones: she should “say it — with flowers.”